12 Things Men and Women Need to Change in Their Communication Styles in Order to Understand Each Other Better

9. Men: Don’t hesitate to ask for help.

They may perceive that the need to ask for help is a reflection of their inability to achieve something. Meanwhile, for women, offering advice is perceived as a sign of caring for someone else. To bridge this gap, it may help to be as clear as possible about your intentions, rather than to allow the other person to just assume that you’re seeking to help as a way of pointing out their weakness to them. Yikes!

So, as an example, let’s take a look at the illustration above. Imagine he’s on his computer trying to solve a problem. Don’t just say, “You’re doing it wrong, you need my help.” Try saying instead, “I’ve had that bug before, want me to check and see if I can fix it?”

10. Women: Realize that men are selective listeners.

They’re what we call “selective listeners.” This point ties into the previous point about men seeking to solve problems — they’ll only listen long enough to ask as much as they deem necessary in order to find a solution. On the other hand, women show greater appreciation for verbal and non-verbal cues and may be offended if these 2 are not present.

11. Women: Don’t let your anger accumulate.

Men “compartmentalize,” while women see each argument as part of a greater whole. In other words, men are perfectly fine having an argument on a particular subject, letting it go, and moving on to a second subject without much thought about the former argument lingering in their minds. Whereas a woman is likely to carry her anger over onto the next item on the list. It may for help both to understand that this isn’t just her “not letting it go” or him “forgetting about it.” Instead, both members of the relationship simply understand problems and the relationships between them differently.

12. Women and men: Welcome your partner’s communication style.

Although almost all of us have succumbed to the previous points, it’s also important to acknowledge that different people (regardless of their gender) have different communication styles. Some may be more competitive communicators, be okay with challenges, and be direct in their communication. Others may be more affiliative communicators, meaning they fall into the group of people who enjoy asking others for feedback, they like listening to all sides, and they generally avoid conflict. So, remember, your partner is also unique.

How do you understand guys more easily? What do you think are the biggest flaws in woman-to-man communication?